Wedding Invitation Wording When Parents or the Couple Host
The first line of a wedding invitation names the hosts: traditionally the bride's parents, today just as often both sets of parents or the couple. Hosting means paying and welcoming, so name whoever does both. Parents who contribute without hosting can be acknowledged with "together with their parents" or "son of," and parents who are divorced, remarried or deceased each have a form shown below.
The host line is the first line a guest reads and the first line couples argue about. Her parents are paying for most of it; his parents are paying for the band; the couple is paying for the rest and doing the work. Who goes first? Etiquette has a simple answer and a form for each situation.
The rule: the hosts invite
Traditionally, the host is whoever gives the wedding, which meant whoever paid for it, which meant the bride's parents. Their names opened the invitation, and the groom's parents were not mentioned. Emily Post's formal samples still open with "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter."
Today, money and work are shared, and the host line is a choice. Three principles hold:
- Name as hosts the people who host. Hosting is paying a meaningful share and welcoming the guests. If both sets of parents do that, name both. If the couple does, name the couple.
- Acknowledge without naming. "Together with their families" credits everyone without listing anyone. "Son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington" names the groom's parents without making them hosts.
- One convention per invitation. Formal titles for everyone or first names for everyone; "to" between the names in the traditional form, "and" in the modern one; dates spelled out or in numerals. The structure is explained in our wedding invitation wording guide.
Who is named, in what order
| Situation | Host line | Couple line | Request phrase |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bride's parents host | Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield | their daughter Eleanor Grace to Mr. Samuel James Harrington | honour of your presence (church) or pleasure of your company |
| Groom's parents host | Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington | Miss Eleanor Grace Whitfield to their son Mr. Samuel James Harrington | same |
| Both sets of parents host | Bride's parents, then "and," then groom's parents | their children Eleanor Grace Whitfield and Samuel James Harrington | same |
| Couple hosts | Eleanor Whitfield and Samuel Harrington | at their marriage / at their wedding | same |
| Couple hosts, families credited | Together with their families | Eleanor Whitfield and Samuel Harrington | same |
| Bride's parents host, groom's parents credited | Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield | their daughter Eleanor Grace to Mr. Samuel James Harrington, son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington | same |
| One parent hosts | Mrs. Anne Whitfield (singular "requests") | her daughter Eleanor Grace | same |
| Divorced parents host together | Mother on the first line, father on the second | their daughter Eleanor Grace | same |
| Mother and stepfather host | Mr. and Mrs. Paul Baxter | her daughter Eleanor Grace Whitfield | same |
| Other relative hosts | Mr. and Mrs. George Whitfield | their granddaughter Eleanor Grace Whitfield | same |
| No host named | The honour of your presence is requested | at the marriage of Miss Eleanor Grace Whitfield to Mr. Samuel James Harrington | passive form |
When the bride's parents host
The traditional form. The bride's surname is dropped when it matches her parents'; the groom appears with his title and full name.
Formal, church
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Eleanor Grace
to
Mr. Samuel James Harrington
Saturday, the twelfth of June
two thousand twenty-seven
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Saint Mark's Church
Charleston, South Carolina
Formal, with the groom's parents credited
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Eleanor Grace
to
Mr. Samuel James Harrington
son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington
Modern
Margaret and Thomas Whitfield
invite you to the wedding of their daughter
Eleanor
to Samuel Harrington
Saturday, June 12, 2027, at 4 p.m.
Lowndes Grove, Charleston
When the groom's parents host
Less common, and the form makes it visible: the bride appears with her title and full name, the groom as "their son."
Formal
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Eleanor Grace Whitfield
to their son
Mr. Samuel James Harrington
Modern
Diane and Robert Harrington
invite you to celebrate the marriage of
Eleanor Whitfield
and their son Samuel
Saturday, June 12, 2027, at 4 p.m.
Lowndes Grove, Charleston
When both sets of parents host
Both couples are named, the bride's parents first, each on their own line. The couple line becomes "their children."
Formal
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield
and
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
and
Samuel James Harrington
Modern, first names
Margaret and Thomas Whitfield
and Diane and Robert Harrington
invite you to the wedding of their children
Eleanor and Samuel
Saturday, June 12, 2027, at 4 p.m.
Lowndes Grove, Charleston
Modern, with a professional title
Grace and Daniel Kim
and Dr. Alicia Moreno and Luis Moreno
invite you to the wedding of their children
Hannah and Mateo
Saturday, September 18, 2027, at 5 p.m.
The Glasshouse, Austin, Texas
A parent with a professional title keeps it, and keeps their own name: "Dr. Alicia Moreno and Luis Moreno," not "Dr. and Mr. Moreno."
When the couple hosts
The couple's names open the invitation. No "Miss"; "Ms." and "Mr." are optional and go together or not at all.
Formal, church
Ms. Eleanor Grace Whitfield
and
Mr. Samuel James Harrington
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
Formal, venue
Eleanor Whitfield and Samuel Harrington
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their marriage
Saturday, June 12, 2027, at 4 p.m.
Lowndes Grove, Charleston
Modern
Eleanor and Samuel
invite you to their wedding
Saturday, June 12, 2027, at 4 p.m.
Lowndes Grove, Charleston
Dinner and dancing to follow
When the couple hosts and the families are credited
The most used line of the last twenty years, because it settles the question without ranking anyone.
Together with their families
Together with their families
Eleanor Whitfield and Samuel Harrington
invite you to celebrate their marriage
Saturday, June 12, 2027, at 4 p.m.
Lowndes Grove, Charleston
Together with their parents
Together with their parents
Hannah Kim and Mateo Moreno
request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding
With the blessing of their parents
Hannah Kim and Mateo Moreno
with the blessing of their parents
invite you to their wedding
Saturday, September 18, 2027, at 5 p.m.
The Glasshouse, Austin
When the parents' names are left off
Leaving the parents off is not a slight; it is the couple-hosting form. If a parent is hurt by it, "together with their families" credits them without a host line. The passive form names no one:
The honour of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Miss Eleanor Grace Whitfield
to
Mr. Samuel James Harrington
Divorced, remarried, widowed
Each of these has a traditional form, less complicated than it looks.
Divorced parents hosting together, neither remarried. The mother's name first, under the name she uses, the father's on the next line. Leaving out "and" between the lines is the traditional way to show they are not a couple; adding it is accepted too.
Mrs. Anne Carter Whitfield
Mr. Thomas Whitfield
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Eleanor Grace
Mother and stepfather hosting. "Her daughter," and the bride's full name, since her surname differs.
Mr. and Mrs. Paul Baxter
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
Both parents remarried, all four hosting. Each couple on its own line, joined by "and," then "their daughter" with her full name.
Mr. and Mrs. Paul Baxter
and
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Eleanor Grace Whitfield
One parent hosting. Singular verb: "requests."
Mr. Thomas Whitfield
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Eleanor Grace
A parent who has died. A deceased parent is not listed as a host, because a host receives the guests. The parent is honored next to the bride's or groom's name instead.
Mrs. Anne Whitfield
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Eleanor Grace
daughter of the late Mr. Thomas Whitfield
to Mr. Samuel James Harrington
Modern, every parent by first name. When the family tree is complicated, the modern form is the kindest: the couple hosts, and every parent is named in one line.
Together with their parents,
Anne Carter, Thomas Whitfield,
and Diane and Robert Harrington,
Eleanor and Samuel invite you to their wedding
Titles and names: the small decisions
- "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield" is the traditional form; "Margaret and Thomas Whitfield" the modern one. Either is correct, as long as the invitation does not switch between them.
- A mother who kept her name is written "Ms. Anne Carter and Mr. Thomas Whitfield," each name in full.
- Doctor, Reverend, Captain are used in the formal form for whoever holds them, including the bride and groom. The modern form drops titles.
- Same-sex couples follow the same forms: "at the marriage of their son Daniel to Mr. Michael Chen," or "at the marriage of their children Daniel Ruiz and Michael Chen" when both families host.
The host line on a digital invitation
A digital invitation keeps the same host line on the opening screen or the letter page, and gains room for what used to be crammed around it: the parents who are not hosting can be thanked on the story page, and a late parent remembered with a photograph. The wording is written once, in your words, and composed by hand into the design.
For the other lines that cause hesitation, see adults-only wording and, for UK and Irish weddings, evening invitation wording. All 100 examples are in the wedding invitation wording guide.
Frequently asked questions
Who is named first on a wedding invitation?
The hosts. When the bride's parents host, their names open the invitation. When both sets of parents host, the bride's parents are named first by convention, then the groom's. When the couple hosts, their names come first, or the line "Together with their families."
How do you word a wedding invitation when the bride's parents are paying?
In the traditional form: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Whitfield request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Eleanor Grace to Mr. Samuel James Harrington." In a modern form: "Margaret and Thomas Whitfield invite you to the wedding of their daughter Eleanor to Samuel Harrington."
How do you word a wedding invitation when the couple is hosting?
Either "Eleanor Whitfield and Samuel Harrington request the pleasure of your company at their wedding," or simply "Eleanor and Samuel invite you to their wedding." For a church ceremony, use "request the honour of your presence at their marriage."
What does "together with their families" mean on a wedding invitation?
That the couple is issuing the invitation with the support of both families, without naming anyone as host. It is the most common wording when parents contribute but the couple runs the wedding, and it avoids ranking the two families.
Do you have to put parents' names on a wedding invitation?
No. If the couple hosts, the parents' names can be left off entirely. If you want to acknowledge them without naming them as hosts, use "together with their families" or "with the blessing of their parents."
How do you list both sets of parents on a wedding invitation?
Each couple on its own line, joined by "and," followed by "request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children Eleanor Grace Whitfield and Samuel James Harrington." The modern version uses first names.
How do you word the invitation if the groom's parents are hosting?
"Mr. and Mrs. Robert Harrington request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Miss Eleanor Grace Whitfield to their son Mr. Samuel James Harrington." The bride's full name appears, since her parents are not the hosts.
Designs in this guide
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